“Smile, don’t let the world know your problems”, so they say.
You would internalize that and hide behind a smile and being funny. Is that happiness? We all know it’s not.
Mental illness hasn’t been taken seriously for many among the African society. You may face stigma from friends and family. Though you might feel as though you are in your own little hell, and drowing in endless torment resulting in suicidal thoughts, remember the value of your life is greater.
How do you deal with not being okay then?
Here is how:
1. Accept it’s okay not to be okay
We all have those times. Feeling like you are alone, in your own world where no one gets you. Everything doesn’t make sense. You seem invisible even to loved ones. Feeling of envy to those who smile better and wishing that was you. Always remember they’ve had their moments or maybe they are going through them. They are just better at hiding it. Whatever you are going through, it’s okay. You’ll be fine. Don’t stop in hell. It’s okay to be in hell, what’s not okay is stopping there.
2. Talk to someone
I personally open up sometimes and am always surprised by the number of people who say they totally relate with me. Girl talk or boy talks. Do them. Don’t ever settle to the motto of “ my problems are mine”. It took a community to raise you to the amazing individual you are, what makes you think anyone would want you to go down the drain just like that?
3. Seek professional help
There is no shame in doing therapy. Do it. Professionals are there for you and me. Use them.
4. Hold hands
Do unto others what you want them to do to you. Hold their hands through tides, they’ll hold yours. Just to be realistic, not everyone will be there even if you were there for them but that doesn’t count. Help. Nature has a way of paying back. I guarantee you, you won’t walk alone either.
5. Accept help
We sometimes have magical people in our lives that know when things are not right. They offer to help even before you ask for it. Accept the help for the better of you. Recognize moments when you need help and take it.
6. Believe you deserve a second chance
For whatever reason you are going through depression or any other mental illness always believe you deserve better and a second chance in life. Help is effective when you believe you deserve it. Everyone deserves it. Every human despite all other factors deserves a perfect life of their definition.
Our lives end the day we become silent about things that matter. You matter. Mental health matters. Don’t give up. You are not alone. Just ask for help or open up A-bit.
If you or someone you know is dealing with mental illness and would like to talk to someone, visit bonga.or.ke to speak anonymously.
