“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.” says the good old Kissing rhyme, but as we have come to learn, it is not that simple! Before the marriage, emotional maturity has to take place because it is impossible to deal with another person’s feelings when you can’t even deal with your own.
Marriage is not easy, but it can be worth it depending on what you are getting out of it. Marriage should be a safe space where you grow and learn…mostly about yourself and then you are required to adjust yourself here and there for the better of not only yourself but for your partner as well and possibly the family you will create together. It is therefore very important to have that lengthy, deep and honest discussion with your person before you even get engaged to be married. This discussion of what your marriage should look like will guide you into making the decision of whether you can both handle being together in marriage or not.
Answering these questions should be done over the course of courting each other as you get closer and more comfortable with each other. They should help you get a glimpse of what being married to your partner could look like. Here we go…
1.What kind of marriage would you like to have?
2.What kind of wedding do you really want?
3.What is your main love language?
4.What will you do with your last names?
5.Do you want children? How many?
6.How would you raise your children?
7.What if having children isn’t straightforward and we have to deal with fertility issues?
8.What does religion mean to you?
9.What are your finances really like? Do you have any debt?
10.How will you split your finances
11.Where do you want to live?
12.What does your dream house look like?
13.What do you want to save up for?
14.What do you need to know about each other’s family?
15.How will you split up chores?
16. How do you feel about your sex life?
17. What are your non-negotiables?
18. What are your deal-breakers?
19. What constitutes cheating?
20. How much alone time do you need?
21. How do you deal with things?
22. What do you find most difficult to talk about?
23. Would you be open to therapy?
24. What do celebrations (like the holidays) look like for you?
25. What’s your dream holiday destination?
26. How important is your career?
27. What does retirement look like?
28. Do you have a will?
29. What do you want to happen when you die?
30. How do you feel about pets?
31. Who is the Most Important Person in the World to You?
32. What are your views on politics?
33. What makes it on Social Media?
